Being Human Has Its Inconveniences
by iNsAnE O.o
Summary: After accepting Edward's proposal, Bella doesn't have a lot of time left to be human. Let's see all the interesting things she can do... with the help of the Cullens, coughEmmettcough, of course!
1. Being a Woman

AN: Well, this is my first chapter in the series of: Being Human Has Its Inconveniences. It's a series portraying all the important human moments Bella goes through after accepting Edward's proposal. I wrote this during a VERY boring class, so you must excuse me for the randomness and the craziness that goes on. I really hope you enjoy it and REVIEW!!!

**Being a Woman**

I awoke happily to see that there was no rain. Clouds covered the sky yet the day was as dry as Forks could ever be (which means puddles everywhere and all, but yeah… Welcome to Forks!). Cold lips were upon my forehead and from beside me sounded the voice of an archangel.

"Bella, you've got to wake up. If you sleep in any longer, even my crazy driving won't get you to school on time."

I could clearly hear the smile in his voice even though his back was turned from me; he was now preparing my bag and clothes. I must simply have the best fiancée in the world.

I smiled widely and slowly lowered my feet to the cold floor. Halfway through the task of standing up, I doubled over, clutching the desk for support as I gasped in pain.

Edward was at my side at once.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

He seemed genuinely worried; yet etched onto his face were several emotions I couldn't comprehend: realization, embarrassment, understanding then pity.

I stopped short, staring at his face as the heat flooded into my cheeks. I felt like crying. All these months he's been with me… Never has he uttered a word; I thought he didn't know! I sank further into my bed, horrified, as I realized that he's known all along; yet never said anything, being the gentleman he was.

"You knew! All along! Oh god!" I buried my face into my pillow as tears flowed from my eyes, my emotions flared and I started sobbing furiously.

"Bella! Oh no… Please don't cry! Please! I'm sorry, sweetheart, so sorry! But I don't mind! I understand!"

His voice was frantic as he scooped me up into his arms, cradling me against his granite chest, brushing the hair away from my face. I felt so loved as I looked up to him with doe-like eyes, my embarrassment completely forgotten.

His perfect brows creased in confusion at the sudden change of mood. I groaned and clutched my stomach, biting my lips as the forgotten pain flared once more.

Before I could move an inch, he had the phone to his ear. No more than a second later, he was whispering rapidly into the earpiece. As he snapped it shut moment later, he turned to me.

"Carlisle's coming over."

That simple, innocent statement left me speechless. Edward laid me on the bed and wiped my forehead with a wet towel… wait where did that come from?

Next thing I know, Carlisle appeared. He had a bag in his hands and a worried expression was carved onto his beautiful features. He looked from me to Edward as a small smile appeared on his face.

That's when it happened… The unexpected. I burst out laughing. The situation was so funny, I couldn't contain myself. Here I was, lying down on my bed, being fussed over by two beautiful vampires just because it was my time of the month. I looked over to the two men, half horrified, half amused. Edward was standing awkwardly by my side, holding my hand, while Carlisle tried (and failed I might add) to hide his smile.

The handy doctor took something out of his bag, chuckling lightly.

"Well, two Tylenols would have to do for menstruation pain."

And I started laughing again, choking out:

"I can't BELIEVE you just said menstruation!"

AN: REVIEW! REVIEW! And I'll send my handy Carlisle over to inspect your health!


	2. Thai Food

AN: Ok, Welcome to the food chronicles. Sorry I couldn't update yesterday, I was quite sick and tired… sorry. Anyways, I'm making a few chapters on the different types of food Edward and the rest of the family are gonna make Bella eat. I'm starting with Asian because I live in Asia. It will last no more than 2-3 chapters. Then there will be the European Food and finally, the other left out countries I'd like to add. No more than 5-6 small chapters while I wait for you guys to suggest ideas for what Bella should do, I mean, if you guys only one more month to be human, what would you do? I'm thinking about making a Bonding Chronicles, any ideas people? Well I shall let you get on with my story! Have Fun and please review!

**The Asian Food Chronicles part 1 – Thai Food**

I got out of the car dizzily and stepped out into Seattle lights. Edward closed the door for me and wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me towards the restaurants.

"So Bella, where would you like to eat?"

I looked around myself. Every restaurant was expensive looking. All of them seemed busy, and all of them were Asian.

"Do we really have to do this?"

I looked at Edward attempting my best puppy dog eyes but he was looking around, a frown of concentration on his face. Hmm… he was probably reading the minds of the people eating to see which restaurant made better food. He looked undecided. After a few seconds he turned back to me.

"Yes."

He made me agree to live my life to the fullest while I still had the time. Today, and probably the following days, I would be tasting food from different places in the world. Starting with Asian food.

I sighed dramatically and walked into a Thai restaurant, Edward right beside me, smiling as if it was his birthday. We were led to a nice table lit with candles right beside a small indoor waterfall. The plants were colorful and exotic looking, the smell of incense, probably rose, hung lightly in the air. Behind the waterfall was a stone with a Buddha carving on it. Beautiful. Everything looked perfect. The Asian lady turned to us gracefully and handed us the menus. She gave a _wai_ (pictures in my profile) and a friendly smile.

"Sawasdee Kha! Welcome to the Oriental. I will be your waitress tonight."

She smiled sweetly and with one last look at Edward, she left to the kitchens. I took it as my cue to have a look at the menu. My face blanched. There were pictures for each dish on the menu… and most of them were RED.

"Let's get out of here!"

I was about to grab my jacket and leave when Edward took my arm and pulled me back down onto the cushioned seats.

"Oh come on Bella, please? I really want you to try!"

Oh damn him and his smothering eyes! I put the jacket back down and pouted in an attempt to make him feel guilty… He just laughed.

I looked back to the menu and picked one randomly as the lady came back. This time I noticed her clothes, they were in traditional Thai silk (picture in my profile), quite beautiful and it suited her well…

"Umm… I'll take the…"

I pointed to a dish called _Yum Woonsen_ with spring rolls and all (picture in my profile). She smiled and wrote it down. Edward then ordered two glasses of water and then the lady walked off.

I looked at Edward a 'not so realistic' glare on my face.

"If anything happens to me, I hold you personally responsible!"

He just shook his head, laughing.

I continued looking around as Edward called his family to tell them that I finally choose something to eat (Alice and Jasper were off hunting so the rest of the family didn't know what was going on).

A few minutes passed and the lady came back with my plate. The color was clear and I didn't see any chilies so I took the fork and took a few noodles and twirled it around, looking at it curiously.

I plopped it in my mouth and chewed then swallowed. Mmm… It's quite good… Sour mmm… I love sour stuff!

I continued eating and after a few minutes, I felt it.

"Edward? Can you pass me the water please?"

He smirked and handed me a glass. A few seconds later, both glasses were empty and my mouth was still on fire. Tears sprang into my eyes but to my surprise, I wasn't red. I tried biting my tongue, but it didn't seem to work. I started getting worried, the flames that seemed to be on my tongue wasn't backing down.

"Bella? Are you ok?"

Edward looked at me curiously. He's probably never tasted spicy food in his life.

"Edwad! Itsh bunin my tongue! Itsh shooooo Shpichy!!!"

I tried talking clearly but that was hard to do because at the same time I was trying to keep my mouth open. He creased his eyebrows and looked at his hands. His lips turned into a smile.

"Here!"

His hand was in front of my face. My forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

I continued breathing hardly, hoping the fire would stop.

"Put my hand in your mouth, I swear, it'll work!"

I looked at him as if he was crazy, he doesn't look like he's joking. So I reluctantly put the side of his hand into my mouth. Ahh… It's not burning anymore! I sigh in contentment as I lay my tongue on his palm. I thought I was gonna die. Edward playfully gave me an 'Eew' but I ignored him. This feels sooooo good!

The lady came back and Edward asked for the bill. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I must have been a sight! Biting my fiancée's hand, looking as if I was at peace.

Oh well who cares? This feels too good!

Here is the stuff from the story you might wanna know about:

Sawasdee Kha: Hello (for girls)

AN: PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Or I'm gonna force you to eat RED CHILI!!!! VLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hmm… right ok… please review! Hehe!


	3. Engaged

Being Human Has Its Inconveniences

AN: I'm really sorry I haven't updated for so long! Lack of ideas combined with schoolwork was already a disaster… Now throw in a problem updating on fanfic and we have the whole thing. Oh well… Now that the problem has finally been solved, I'll try to update more!

Anyways, this is a chapter where Edward takes Bella to a little place most kids like to go to...

Now you're probably wondering: What could possibly go wrong now?

Chapter Three: Engaged

"Keep your eyes closed please Bella, Alice will tell me whenever you attempt to open them so there's no point in trying…"

I huffed lightly and settled on a pout as my mind went on autopilot, trying to find a way around Alice's power. I heard Edward sigh behind me as he brought up one of his hands to cover my eyes.

"I don't trust you." He said, an evident smile in his voice.

I stuck out my tongue playfully but kept on walking blindly forward with Edward's left hand clamped firmly on my waist, steering me in the right direction.

"Can't you give me a small hint? One word!" I tugged at is hand in vain. He remained silent yet I felt him squeeze my waist making me jerk and slap his arm, which of course ended up in me hurting myself. He laughed.

I decided to try out my recently discovered weapon and raised my voice an octave higher:

"Please?"

Silence. Considering it my way, silence is his deadly weapon. It rang in my head louder than everything else and slowly ate its way towards my sanity. I, of course, decided to save myself from the rapidly approaching asylum, and bit his hand. Alice couldn't have seen this coming because he suddenly let go of my waist. I took this as my chance and quickly looked around trying to remember everything I saw. I felt like I was in one of those games where you had to look at a picture and remember all the details. It was annoyingly exhilarating…

Sadly, I only saw trees and an opening not too far away; I turned back to Edward, whose jaw was, uncharacteristically, hanging open.

"What?"

"Did you just… _bite_ me?"

"If I said yes, would you tell me where we're heading?" I asked, grinning sheepishly.

He shook his head in disbelief, a small smile slowly making its way upon his face. He cupped my cheeks and gave me a tender kiss which made my knees go weak.

"Just a few more minutes ok?"

His eyes were smouldering as his fingers lightly traced my lips, could I have said no while being so sweetly tortured? No. So next thing I knew, I was in his arms, my eyes hidden behind his right hand as he carried me off to… who knows where. 

"That," I said, breathless "was definitely cheating."

He chuckled, "Truce?"

I didn't get the chance to answer for he set me down and I felt sand beneath my suddenly bare feet. Slowly, almost dramatically, he uncovered my eyes and I stared at the sight before me. It was a cloudy day but the temperature was definitely high; unbelievably hot for a summer day in Forks. The whole beach was clean and white and the water was an amazingly pretty aqua colour. Rosalie was wearing a chic red bikini. She was perched upon Emmett's strong shoulders and they were laughing at Jasper who was being "drowned" by little Alice who was wearing a beautiful forest green one piece, which was tied at the back of the neck. There were two large ovals cut on both sides from underneath her breasts to her hips, revealing just as much skin as a one-piece would have. 

I suddenly understood why she made me wear overtly revealing royal blue bikini this morning. I groaned and dropped to the ground, holding the edges of my shirt firmly.

"What are you doing Bella? Don't you want to go into the water?"

I turned and stopped dead. Before me was the most beautiful creature in the universe (and beyond). Edward was looking down upon me clad only in a pair of black and white beach shorts. His marble chest was deliciously bare and it would have been impossible for me to look away had he not spoken. His lips, Bella. Look at his lips…

"Bella"

"Umm… ah… What?"

"Would you like to join me in the water?"

All of a sudden, I remembered the cause of my panic. The bikini.

"No! I-I can't. I can't go into the water because… I… uh… well… I just can't"

He looked at me, his eyes narrowed, before turning towards his family. Less than a second afterwards, Alice stood before me, her hands on her hips, a glare in her eyes and a scowl on her lips.

"You gave me your word… You promised me that you would wear that!"

"Yes! But not without my shirt and jeans! You tricked me!"

She rolled her eyes, mumbling something incomprehensible under her breath.

"Ok, we could do this the easy way… or the hard way. Just take your clothes off or I'm ripping them off. You've got thirty seconds. 30 29 28…"

I panicked, looking to Edward for help. He held his hands up in surrender. Great. I'm on my own… Perfect!

"No! Alice…. No! (20 19 18) OK! Ok! Fine! Ugh…"

I stood slowly and gripped the edge of my shirt, pulling it off. Then, not looking at Edward or the rest of his family, I unzipped my trousers and pulled them down. I looked dejectedly at the bundle of clothes in a pile at my feet and sighed. A catcall from Emmett and a slap from Rosalie (To Emmett of course) later, I looked up.

Edward was smiling warmly as he pulled me to his snow-cold chest. I suddenly felt self-conscious.

"You look _beautiful_. Don't worry."

"I feel like I'm parading around NAKED! This doesn't even qualify as a loincloth! It's a piece of fabric attached to a string!"

Alice laughed and walked back towards Jasper,

"You'll get used to it!"

I sighed and relaxed against my fiancé's chest and felt him tense.

"Oh I'm sorry! Am I bothering- What's wrong?"

His beautiful face was twisted into a grimace, his expression slightly annoyed:

"Mike and his _friends_ are coming."

I turned to our beach towel and reached out-

"Don't you _dare_ put them back on! It'll be worse to have to take them off again later!"

Alice crushed my hopes completely. I saw Edward flinch beside me. I turned to him.

"What?"

"An incident involving you falling and pulling my shorts down… Please, whatever you were thinking of trying, don't do it."

A giggle escaped me as the mental image popped into my head. Just imagine Lauren's face in front of a naked Edward!

Edward pushed my head playfully, then grabbed me by the waist, flinging me over his shoulders then stalking off towards the water. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Mike, Jessica, Lauren and their 'group' walking towards us. One problem at a time. I decided that me, about to be thrown into the water was first priority.

"Edward! No! Put me down THIS INSTANT! Or I SWEAR! You will REGRET THIS! Every single day of ETERNITY! AH! EDWARD! PUT ME DOOOOOWN!"

My screams were expertly ignored, and as I tossed and turned and kicked and punched (all the while hurting MYSELF); he walked on, whistling peacefully, towards Jasper and Emmett. By the time the water reached his knees, I had stopped trying to kill him and had settled on pouting. Seconds later, I found myself cradled in his strong marble arms. As his face loomed mines, his lips formed a playful smirk.

"What was it you were saying?"

An involuntary smile crept onto my face as I bit my lower lip sheepishly.

"Don't put me down…?"

He shook his head slowly from side to side, a wicked smile now plastered into place. He leaned towards me, his lips grazing the skin underneath my ear softly, sending a violent shudder through my body.

"Don't say things you don't mean, Miss Swan. You tend to regret them… I thought I heard you say: Put. Me. Down."

And before I could fully process his words, I was dropped from his tight grip. I was screaming as I hit the surface. The water was surprisingly warm as I plunged under the gentle waves.

I stood up, glaring at Edward's laughing figure. I must've been quite a sight: dripping wet; long, tangled, soaking hair; and a 'glare' if you could even call it that. I must've resembled a drowning cat. An ugly, brown, drowning cat. Go on, LAUGH! _**I **_don't find it funny. Not in the least.

I held my head up high as I stalked off towards our beach towel. I felt arms wrap around my waist and lips pressing light butterfly kisses to the side of my neck. Ah… Why does this guy have to be so damn cute and forgivable? Momentarily forgetting my anger, I sighed and closed my eyes as he scooped me up and brought me back to our stuff.

I watched him as he pulled out a fluffy black towel and wrapped it around my shoulders before lying down, resting his head on his hands. I couldn't help but smile. He was so perfect. And these days, I found myself saying: WE are so perfect for each other. I snuggled up to him, content in just being there. I was lost in our own world, bursting with joy as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling closer to his pleasantly cool chest. He kissed my head, running his fingers lightly through my long hair-

"Hey Bella!"

UGH! That VOICE! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! I reluctantly opened my eyes, nearly groaning out loud as I saw the cheery face above me.

"Hi Mike."

I stood up in a gesture of politeness, so did Edward.

"So… Watcha guys doin here?"

"Same thing as you Mike. Edward and I are here for a little swim. His brothers and sisters are her too."

I pointed in the direction of Rosalie and Alice, hoping (pleading more likely) that he would be too absorbed with their beauty to notice my quick escape.

"Oh, ok. Wanna come hang out with us for a while?"

Ha. Yeah, like I'd say yes.

"We'll be there in a minute, Newton."

I nodded; my face apologetic.

"Okay. See ya in a few!"

Wait… what did he…? My mouth dropped open I shock. Did he just… I turned towards Edward, my face grim.

"Did you just say yes?"

He smiled.

"EDWARD! How _DARE_ you! Without my permission, no least! Why?!? WHY?!? You _know_ I hate them! _You_ hate them too!"

I was fuming. His expression turned sorrowful.

"Bella, I- I just wanted you to spend some time with _normal_ people before you have to…"

He trailed off and I immediately felt bad for yelling at him like that. I should've known what he was trying to accomplish. He doesn't want me to have_any_ regrets. I looked up at him and shrugged. Here goes nothing… Sighing, I grabbed his hand and led him towards my_friends_. Lauren was, of course, the first to greet us. Oh no, sorry, she was the first to greet _Edward_.

"Edward! I'm so_glad_ that you came!"

Edward nodded politely as we took a seat opposite of Mike and Jessica. He took my left hand started playing with my fingers. A loud scream interrupted the murmur of people talking. Jessica jumped from her seat:

"BELLA! You're_ENGAGED_!"

And there goes the peace and quiet. People swarmed towards us, congratulations came from all around me. Lauren and Mike were the only ones who looked extremely shocked… In a bad way.

After a while, the excitement died down and I stood up.

"I'm going to get ice-cream."

Edward kissed me lightly before turning back to speak to Ben and Angela about an upcoming concert in Port Angeles. Mike followed me to the ice-cream parlor.

I quickly ordered a mint choc-chip scoop and paid just as Mike got his vanilla.

"So…"

I rolled my eyes before turning to look at the blond boy beside me. He looked troubled.

"So…?"

"You're engaged."

"Yes, Mike. I'm_engaged_."

"Hmm… I never thought it was _that_ serious in between you guys… How did he propose?"

I thought about that night I refused him and decided to twist my story a little. He would never understand otherwise and would probably assume that I didn't love Edward as much as he loves me and that I accepted just because of a compromise. No way could I let that happen.

"I was at his house and we were talking. He first gave me a crystal heart and at the end of the night, he proposed to me. It was beautiful."

I lifted my wrist and showed Mike the charm Edward gave me. His gaze narrowed upon the crystal. After a few moments of silence, he turned to me with a perplexed look on his face.

"That's a crystal?"

My eyebrows furrowed… What? Does he think its plastic or something? I cocked my head to the side:

"Well… yeah?"

He shook his head.

"It looks an awful lot like a diamond to me…"

I stopped walking abruptly. What the… Oh my god. So that's what Alice meant. I took a deep breath and stalked towards my vampire, who was currently in the water with his brothers.

"Bella! Wait!"

Mike ran towards me and caught my arm.

"Just, before you get married, I need to tell you something."

From the angle I was in, I saw Edward struggling to get out of Jasper and Emmett's grasp. His face was twisted with fury.

"I've always liked you. Ever since the beginning and I hope that you love me too. Please, drop Cullen. Marry me instead."

And with that, his lips were on mines. He shoved his tongue against my lips, trying to force them apart but I pressed mines tightly together. I pushed Mike away and stuck my ice-cream into his face.

"I'm an engaged woman Newton. Keep your hands away from me."

I then turned back towards our stuff and wiped my mouth before slipping my clothes back on. Turning towards Edward, I saw him smiling sheepishly.

"Safe day at the beach? My foot! Better take me home now or deal with the consequences."

We packed our stuff and left the beach early and lived happily ever after; until my alarm clock blared the next day at 7am.

A note was attached to my dresser, clearly written in Alice's writing:

_I picked an outfit out for you today!_

_We're gonna pick you up at around 9am! Be ready by then!_

_No, we're not gonna tell you where we're going, it's a SURPRISE! I assure you we'll have fun though!_

_See you later Bella! Love you!_

_Alice_

I plopped back onto the bed and set the alarm at 8:30am. Here comes another day with the Cullens…

**IMPORTANT GAME! AND A POLL UP ON MY PAGE! GO VOTE!!!**

_**As I haven't been updating for so long, you guys have the permission to kill me as many times as you want… now let's see who can come up with the best threat! I'll post the winners at the end of my next chapter**_

**AN: And that's it! I hope you liked it! Review and I'll set up a kissing booth with EDWARD in it! If you have anything to say you can PM me!**

**Lily**


	4. Vampires Don't Get Sick Or Blush

Being Human Has it's Inconveniences

AN: I am _extremely_ sorry for not updating sooner. Vacation is coming up on Friday and the teachers kept us _way_ too busy for the last three weeks: _loads_ of tests, a ton of homework (which are graded), a million more homework (normal ones), 'exposés' (presentations)…

I still have a presentation for Friday but _**tomorrow is my birthday**_ (16! YAY!) And I felt the need to update D

Hope you enjoy this chapter! (It may be sucky because I had no time to really work on it… And the ending may be kinda rushed… :S sorry)

**Chapter 4: Vampires Don't Get Sick… Or Blush**

Wheeze… COUGH! Wheeze… COUGH! COUGH!

Oh the horror of it all! The beautiful cloudy day mocked me from outside my window. Today was a perfect day. The clouds obscured the harsh rays of the sun yet there was no rain. The wind blew softly, ruffling the leaves, yet the air was simply cool. Not hot, not cold, perfect.

The birds were chirping, Charlie was whistling, the squirrels were playing, and I am… Sick.

SICK! Why couldn't I have been sick _yesterday_? Huh? WHY? My nose was clogged with snot, my throat scratchy and dry and my body ached ALL OVER! I glanced at the clock. In bright red letters were written: 5:13am. Great. Two hours have passed since I've been lying awake feeling horrible and lonely. My throat hurt too much to call Charlie and my body too weak to go get the phone to call Edward and-

Wait a minute… Shouldn't Alice have seen this? Every time Edward was out hunting, Alice took care of me and made sure, for mister overprotective, that everything was all right… I frowned, confused. Hmm…

Slowly, I dropped my legs from the comfort of my bed and placed my already cold feet on the freezing wooden floor. I tried to stand up but crumpled to the ground in a whirlwind of coughs and sneezes. I shuddered as my body calmed. And then slowly, I sat up. I looked at my door longingly as I heard Charlie's cruiser slip out of the driveway. Sighing, I crouched down and crawled to that annoying piece of rectangular hardwood (otherwise know as a door) that kept backing away! Ever seen one of those horror movies where the victim never gets to the door? Same feeling right here! Who knows, there might be a vampire lurking behind me… I looked behind. Nothing. Stupid me, scaring my self for no reason…

As I _finally_ reached it, I glared and pulled myself up to my knees to turn the doorknob. The door opened ominously to reveal… A hallway. Okay, wrong suspense moment.

I quickly shuffled forward on my hands and knees and pushed my way into the bathroom. Once inside, I carefully stood up and opened the medicine cabinet. My mood darkened immediately. No cough medicine, no Tylenol, nothing. Only a few stuff for stomach aches and bandages. I glared at the cabinet then slammed it shut, dropping back onto my knees and resuming my journey in the hallway.

I moved awkwardly on four legs towards the end of the hallway. And finally, I stopped and looked down… _the stairs_ (add psycho music here). Taking a deep breath, I started my way down. I huffed and puffed during the first few steps… then rolled down the rest of the way. Ow. I gingerly touched my left breast. Oh my goodness. Of all the places that could've been hurt…

Sick, bruised and frustrated, I crawled with a murderous expression towards the innocent-_looking_ phone.

Upon reaching the _vile_ object, I punched in Carlisle's number. I needed a doctor, not a fashion counselor.

"Hello Bella."

My vicious thoughts were interrupted by the smooth voice of the aforementioned doctor.

"Hello."

My voice was horrible! I swallowed and tried again.

"Carlisle? I _need_ a doctor."

I coughed violently. I felt (and sounded) like I had swallowed shards of glass… Definitely not something I'd like to keep for long.

"I'm in the car now Bella. In less than five minutes I'll be there."

I croaked a thank you and hung up, for once grateful that the Cullens drove too fast for their own good.

Waiting while you're sick is a hard task; and by the time Carlisle stepped through the door, I was counting my hair.

My soon-to-be father in law raised his eyebrows in confusion. I sighed, hoping he was still willing to let his son marry _me_ of all people.

"Just don't. Don't ask."

His smile was amused as he glided towards me, opening his briefcase. He sat down next to me on the couch and rummaged through his bag for the right medicines/ tools/ whatever he was planning to use on me.

As his eyebrows scrunched up, I winced. Please, please, _please_ tell me he has something for me! _Please_!

"I could've sworn it was in here this morning. Why didn't Alice-"

He gasped, looking at me in horror.

"Alice."

And then, the door bust open to reveal Edward, Emmett and even Jasper holding a kicking and screaming Alice.

"NO! Put me DOWN! THIS INSTANT! Human experiences! HUMAN EXPERIENCES! We AGREED that Bella would get to feel as _human _as _possible_ during these last few days she has! Let. Me. DOWN! AH!"

I coughed once, my eyes questioning. I looked at Edward's face, contorted with fury; Emmett's, a mix between disbelief and amusement; and finally Jasper's, ranging from shame, then anger from Edward, to amusement form Emmett. Poor guy must be confused.

Edward finally put Alice down. Looking at her pointedly he said:

"Explain."

Alice sighed but held her head high:

"Bella should experience sickness for the last time in her EXISTENCE! It's only fair! She'll never be able to get sick… EVER AGAIN!"

Her eyes were wide, trying to prove her point but Edward just shook his head. He continued:

"Tell us what you did to the medicine Alice."

Now, Alice looked ashamed. She hung her head, mumbling only loud enough so that I could hear:

"I took them from Carlisle's bag and Bella's bathroom and I hid them in the basement." She looked up at me, her eyes wide and doe-like. "I'm sorry Bella… I'll never do it again…"

One point to add to my "Good Reasons to Become a Vampire" list: Vampire Don't Get Sick.

I coughed and nodded, telling her I forgave her just as Edward muttered:

"You'll never get another chance anyways you minx."

I rolled my eyes at him. Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

"I'm going to send Alice to get the medicine. Are you hurt anywhere else? That small bruise on your cheek tells me you've had a fall earlier this morning."

Instinctively, I grabbed my left breast, and then blushed a deep red as 5 pair of golden turned to stare confusingly at my hand.

"Umm… I fell down the stairs?"

The only answers I got were booming laughs. Great… Is my face actually getting redder? A quick glance at the mirror confirmed my fears.

Another point to add to my ever growing list: Vampires Don't Blush.

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo**

AN: REVIEW! And I'll give you some of the cookies and cakes I baked for my birthday tomorrow… **REVIEW FOR MY BIRTHDAY! I WANT A HUNDRED!!** **MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!** Okay, maybe twenty would already be a fair limit :P

Hope you enjoyed it!

**Lily**


	5. Flying

Being Human Has Its Inconveniences

**AN:** Sorry if some of you don't like this type of chapter but I didn't have time for all the description and all… But anyways, I like it better like this… Hope you like it! By the way, new poll up! Go check it out! And I hardly got any reviews for my birthday… :(

Oh well, I guess it wasn't good enough…

**Chapter 5: Flying**

"Emmett, you can't do this to me."

"And why not, Bella?"

"Emmett… I know you may want to take revenge for what once happened to you, but don't you do this to me! Not now!"

"It's not gonna kill you. I'm perfectly sure you'll be fine. _And_ it'll be really fast."

"No. Whatever you may try to do to make me feel better, I won't agree to this. It's the last thing I'll do in my _existence_. Ha! Not life, you see? _Existence_."

"Good for you Bella, but you don't really have a choice, you see? It's all planned out and you're gonna have to do it someday."

"Are you taking me for a retard? Esme is home and so is Carlisle. I'm perfectly sa-AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"EMMETT!! PUT HER DOWN THIS INSTANT!!"

"OW! But, Esme… She said she wouldn't go skydiving with me so I made it so much easier for her…"

"I can't… Edward? Oh my god, Edward… I… Emmett is so stupid, he-"

"YOU MADE HER FAINT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! MY WHOLE FAMILY IS CRAZY! WHO THE HELL LET THIS HAPPEN?!"

"_Geez_… Calm down Edward… No need to shout…"

"I don't get it… What happened here?"

"Jazz… Bella was thrown over the roof…"

"EMMETT!!"

"But she said she wanted to fly! And Alice, why did you have to say it?"

"_God_! How stupid can you get? I leave my fiancée for not over _ten_ minutes and LOOK WHAT HAPPENS!"

"Dude, calm down…"

"Oh, you're telling _me_ to be calm after you pull a stunt like _that_? You gotta be kidding me! And Jasper, you try calming me _one more time_…"

"SOMEBODY GET ME A TRANQUILIZER!"

"Emmett, a tranquilizer won't work on Edward."

"Carlisle, always the voice of reason… Edward, give Emmett a chance to explain-"

"_You_... Stay out of this Rose."

"Edward!"

"Rosalie!"

"Jasper!"

"Emmett?"

"Sorry…"

"Ok, enough is enough kids. Go do something else. We're getting nowhere with this."

"_We'll settle this tonight at midnight."_

"I heard that Emmett! Leave Edward alone!"

"Damn…"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**AN:** REVIEW!! And I'll give you some freshly baked double chocolate chip cookies! :D


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